Oct 26, 2013
Oct 21, 2013
I know that I don't like it here, I hate it when you feel suffocated and you tried everything but you just have no idea why. In the same time, what's the point of giving up. My road has only just begun and I'd already stumble down. Or probably that's the point? I don't know.
It's horrifying when you are left with two choices; and it is either you continue walking ahead on whatever waiting at the end of the road, or give up and not knowing and your parents and family and friends are going to look down on you.
I know I have to do this, despite the bitterness and gloomy and hatred toward myself for being such a coward. I made myself clear before that I have no intention to furthering "it" in a foreign country. Or moreover in a not english speaking country. But now, aha. I'm on the road to a foreign country bebeh! And... Why am I not happy with this?
Every time I opened up my diary, I couldn't help but to wept myself (because for the past 3 months there's only one page where I am happy for real. And that is when I met my friends.) I'm looking forward to the rainbow. Why can't crying under the blazing sun make a freaking rainbow? It's raining and I can't even find a shelter. Did I read to much chick-lit? Did I read to much fantasy? I don't know, probably. And it that time I know what I want.
Ergh come on, 6 years is not that bad. Right ? *pat myself on the back*
I'm not sure if word of encouragement is what I need right now but you probably could try leave some in the comment section below. Thank you for reading. Let's hope the next post is going to be a beautiful-happy post. Because I'm tired of being gloomy.